Player Profile

Girl Crush Vol. 1

December 9, 2013

For those who don’t know, a ‘girl crush’ is kinda like the ladies version of ‘bromance’.  Since Polo is full of bromance, I thought it would be fun to profile some of the killer ladies of polo.  I have broken up the girl crush into five categories with a score given for each just to see how crushable these ladies really are. Let’s start with my first girl crush pick….

JESSI!!!!!!!

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Huggable Factor: 20/20

You can’t help it.  Even when you try to resist, you get one of Jessi’s adorable smiles and you just gotta wrap your arms around her.  Even on the court when she’s taking the ball away from you, the sudden urge to take your hands off the handlebars and go in for a hug arises and you’re not even upset about it.  It’s almost hypnotic, and I’m now dubbing it the Jessi maneuver.  (Feel free in the future to say things like “I just got Jessied!” or “She’s going in for a Jessi.”)

Intimidation Factor: 13/20

Perhaps you are thinking because of Jessi’s high caliber of play her intimidation factor might be hirer.  Alas, Jessi is just to smiley and positive to be too intimidating (sorry girl).  When attempting to check her into the boards she just smiles and tell you how good you’re doing.  ARGH!!!  I’m supposed to be scaring you with my huge guns Jessi!  She also plays a very clean game with few checks to other players on the court.  The real intimidating factor to Jessi is how much of a girl crush we all have on her!  Even in this photo, I’m not intimidated one bit…
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Scoring Factor: 19/20

Jessi is just like a Stretch Armstrong!:
stretch_armstrong1You may think you have her covered and your front wheel may even be in front of hers, but somehow Jessi stretches her arm out a bit and scores.  WHAAAAAT?!?!?!  How’d that even happen.  Don’t worry dear reader, that’s the reaction a lot of us have when playing against her.  Jessi is the type of player that reminds me that I don’t need to hit the ball as hard as I can into the net (even though I want to cause it’s super fun), and accuracy is key.

Defense Factor: 18/20

Geez Jessi get out of my way!!!!  Just when you think you have shook her off, she comes charging at you and BAM ball is now hers.  (I’m shaking my fist at you right now Jessi!)

Should I be Worried: 20/20

Oh my glory YES!!!!  She may not be all that intimidating but oh glory will she just crush the pants off you and then you will be without pants!  She has been MVP of both the International Ladies Bench AND Ladies Army V, where she selflessly offered her frame prize to Shannon who had her bike stolen that very weekend.  She is definitely one of the top lady players in the World and hot dang that just plain scary.

Crushable score:  90/100

If you didn’t already have a crush on Jessi, well then I sure hope I was able to convince you how totally Girl Crush worthy she is.  I’m focusing on my game for Ladies Army next year in hopes of trying to get to her level, but part of me feels like it’s super futile.

Jessi, you are one Crushable Babe!

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