In a surprising move, the North American Hardcourt Bike Polo Federation of The Upper Left Part of The World has released an addendum to the wildly popular and not at all argued over 2015 NAH Ruleset. According to the esteemed group, this addition (referenced by J. Rstom as “lil’ babycakes ruleset”) is meant to clarify the clarifications previously made—much as a chef may reheat melted butter for a delicious lobster.
Except the lobster is a ruleset, and the butter is another smattering of sweet, melty rules.
The additions shouldn’t surprise anyone, as they are just as clear as rules previously enforced by the NAH:
Intention: If a player means to, imagines, or suggests physical harm or otherwise illegal play against another player, they shall be removed from play for a 30 second penalty. During this time, the offending player must create a valentine for one of the goal judges.
By Extension: if a player performs an illegal action, they must choose another player on their team (accomplice) who will also serve the penalty with them. They broke the rule, but by extension the whole team is culpable.
Mean Spirited: Any player who is deemed to not be in the right spirit for a tournament (either through a lack of sweaty, awkward hugs, or heckling, or drinking) must wear the piñata of shame while playing until they are in a better frame of mind. If this does not occur before the regulation timeframe of a game is over, they must be ritualistically placed inside the Wicker Man for sacrifice.
Crease Rule: Each player must have pleats in their uniforms. Failure to comply with this equipment rule will result in the player removing all outer clothing before play resumes.
The NAH Rules committee is open to any and all questions regarding these updated rules through their complaint portal, which can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/njxzm3j