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2014 Qualifier Predictions

May 1, 2014


I wanted to post this last week but I got caught up in getting ready for my trip down to San Francisco and then on to Fresno for Smack In Da Middle III. Because of my poor time management, I missed out on the opportunity to pick the top three teams for South Centrals. If I had the chance to pick, I would have picked those three teams to make it onto the podium, though. With the South East Qualifier this weekend, I don’t want to put this off any longer, so here are my predictions of teams to make it onto the podium at each qualifier. Here they are, in no particular order:

South East, May 3rd – 4th:

  • Ginyu Force (Christopher, Arnold, Del Gato TLH)
  • Biking Vikings (Brent, Paul ATL, justin MOLO)
  • Broken Bones (Adam, Brett, Graham MEM)

Mexico May 10th – 11th:

  • The Means (Chris NYC, Tex OTT, Nick RVA)
  • Nino Dios (Ignacio, Yair, Raul GDL)
  • HERMANOS KORIOTO (Pablo, Omar, Oscar GDL)

South West May 24th – 25th:

  • Beavers (Brian, Eric, Joey SF)
  • The Control (Shitty, Forrest, Ace SF)
  • secret teeth (Brandon, Jillian, Cody CRZ)

Great Plains May 24th – 25th:

  • Mosquito (Will, Daren, Duane SKN)
  • Passless Chaps (Dave, JB, Zach WPG)
  • Prairie Gold (Neil, Josh, Tom EDM)

Cascadia May 24th – 25th:

  • The Guardians (Cody, Julian, Dustin SEA)
  • Portland United (Arlyn, pete, Eric PDX)
  • Ringers (Nick Philly, Redbeard SEA, Pierre SF)

Eastside May 31st – June 1st:

  • Arsenal (Jonathan CHI, Horse LNS, Rob Philly)
  • White Fang (Fang, Jake, Fang BOS)
  • gimme a min, I’ll think of something (Natred, Zach NYC, Dirkbag TO)

Heartland May 31st – June 1st:

  • Los Tranquilos (Mags, Charlie COMO, Hams LEX)
  • Three Bucks (Peter, David CBUS, Eric LEX)
  • Hustle and Muscle (Chris CIN, porch, James LEX)

Northside June 7th – 8th:

  • CUNNING STUNTS (Bird MKE, Maija, Heffy TO)
  • Triple Deke (Kevin, Shane, Ngaihon TO)
  • Journeymen (Allan, Robbie OTT, Nick TO)

 Great Lakes June 7th – 8th:

  • MILWAUKEE A (Captain, Guthrie, Genghis MKE)
  • Brigands (Adam ARB, Nick, Sam MPLS)
  • 10k (Aren, Ramon, Kado MPLS)

Please note that this is all in good fun, so please do not be offended if I did not put your team on the list. I would love to hear your predictions too, so please share them!


Heckling Hardcourt – Vol. 4

April 15, 2014


Crowd-sourcing Your Competitive Vacation

One of the best aspects of the polo community is the generous nature of its members. In general folks don’t have a lot to give but are willing to give what they can, and that rules, but it’s beginning to feel like folks are taking advantage of our willingness to give.

Typically, when people are looking to raise money to travel or host an event, they do some type of fundraiser. The San Francisco Bike Messenger Association does a couple of bake sales in the panhandle each year to raise money for their annual alleycat weekend. Other people get some prizes donated and host a raffle to raise money. Hell, even selling some shirts to raise money to get to a tournament is rad because all of these way to raise money require effort. Raising money to travel to tournaments is hard, but our supportive community usually jumps at the effort to help out and, maybe, get some schaw in return for the hard efforts.

As internet crowd-sourcing becomes more and more popular for everyone’s bullshit company ideas (, more polo teams and individuals are asking for donations to fund their trip to a polo tournament. Something really rubs me the wrong way about folks just expecting people to give them money for nothing in return except their own good time at their competitive vacation. Although, admittedly, the one exception I have to this (sorry Aaron) is Crusher of Lancaster Polo. That dude provides us with great content and reports about bike polo, and shit I feel guilty for not donating yet!

The rest of you, get it together. Asking people to fund something and not at least giving them a patch, shirt, or anything is kinda like breaking rule number one of polo in the crowdfunding world; especially considering the helpful and willingness nature of the polo community. So all you rule number one breakers out there, I’m calling you out!

With that said, if anyone wants a Les Femmes Des Crem shirt to help us get to Ladies Army 666, holla! (soooo shameless)



Our Lancaster Polo Buyout

April 1, 2014
RIP Lancaster

RIP Lancaster

We couldn’t be happier to announce that as of next Monday, April 7th, Lancaster Polo will become a part of 3-2-1 Polo! After long negotiations with Lancaster Polo’s owner and Editor-in-Chief, Matthew Kabik, we will be buying out Lancaster Polo. Kabik will become a Staff Writer for 3-2-1 Polo reporting on East coast matters and beyond. To get Kabik to sign onto the deal, 3-2-1 Polo has agreed to send him to the 2015 World Hardcourt Bike Polo Champions in Montpelier, France to cover the event for our website. When asked for a word on the buyout for this post, Kabik said “Hey, at least I can afford to go to worlds now!”

Every week it seems that Lancaster Polo pushes out better and better content, so much so that we saw them surpassing 3-2-1 Polo as the leading site for hardcourt journalism. We felt that the best thing for our site, in the long run, was to have Matthew Kabik join our staff. After the move to Portland and bouncing between a couple jobs, it’s become increasingly harder to consistently put out fresh content. With the addition of Kabik to the staff, we will be able to publish original and compelling articles on a more regular basis. Not only that, but with a reporter on the East coast, we will be able to cover more tournaments this coming season. We’re very excited to have Kabik’s content writing skills in our arsenal.

As mentioned above, Lancaster will not officially become part of 3-2-1 Polo until next Monday. This will give us time to transfer over all the old content from Lancaster, before the blog will be directly linked to ours. We don’t want Matthew Kabik’s fantastic work to be lost, so you’ll be able to find all the articles on our website.

We are so excited for this and I hope you guys are too. Mark this day on your calendar, it’s going to be a monumental in the future of bike polo coverage! Welcome to the team Matthew Kabik, let’s kick some bike polo journalistic butt!


Heckling Hardcourt – Vol. 3

February 27, 2014


Heckle Fodder
Ironically, I couldn’t really appreciate the hilarious amount of shit talking potential between the Americans and the Canadians until I lived in Australia. The Aussies know their smack talking, and can out heckle the rest of us scumbags by FAAAAAR, and out chant us too (if you have yet to hear one of Jordie’s super catchy chants you are missing out).  What fuels the Australian heckles more than anything are their neighbors to the East, New Zealand. They poke fun at the Kiwi accent in a way that is ridiculous magical, which can only be summed up by this image:
cat-riding-a-fire-breathing-unicorn-16414-1280x800Photo from Krista Carlson’s Facebook (she knows how to internet)

It was here that I discovered that the Aussies are to the Kiwi’s as Mericans are to Canucks, and that I have been missing out on some quality heckling. Now it’s time to put in some serious homework, or heckle practice if you will, before I head to Toronto for Ladies Army. I know I’m behind the times when it comes to many movies, but in celebration of Beer Week one of my favorite local theatres played Strange Brew. Admittedly, I am ashamed to say I had never seen it.  My beard shrieked in horror, once he found out, insisting we go watch it.

Now I know what I have been missing my whole life, and probably need to watch a few more times to fully get my fake hoser accent down. Since I have a lot of love for my neighbors in the North, there is no better way to show it then working on my Canadian Call.

See you Jerks soon.

- Sam


There’s No Room for Cheaters

February 18, 2014

Means-Journeymen.Still002-590x331There is a reason they call him Dirty Dodi…

Hey cheaters! Hey lazy polo players! Hey malicious revenge seekers! I’m sorry but it’s important for me to call you out since the progression of this sport rests on your shoulders.  Now that the rules are in place and the ref’s test is nearly finished (assuming that Joe Rstom did an amazing job on it), you are the ones standing in the way of allowing refs to feel comfortable doing their jobs and it’s up to you to truly allow us to see the potential of the new rules.

I too often hear “I’m just going to keep playing the way I do and let them call me out on things if I’m doing them wrong.” That is the dangerous kind of rhetoric that is detrimental to the development of the hardcourt bike polo. It’s metaphorically the equivalent of walking up to Nick Kruse, flipping him off, and giving him the Stone Cold Stunner. Even if you’ve been playing for years and know what’s right and wrong in general, you need to learn the ruleset. It’s important for everyone that is looking to compete in a qualifier this year to sit down and read the rules. Not only read the rules, but truly study them. Memorize the rules so that you can apply them to situations at pick-up. Once you’ve done this, you should do it all over again.

Dustin Rigg’s of The Guardians fame said it best in a recent Facebook post regarding the Call Me Daddy v True Danger game posted by Mr. Do: “We can ask what the NAH can do to make this game better and more exciting all we want. Eventually though, players have to realize that it’s largely on us, right now, to move the game forward. There’s just no room for shit like this.” I know when we’re in the heat of the moment it can be easy to lose all inhibition, but there is no room in this sport for blatantly extending your arm to open-handedly push someone off of their bike, recklessly checking someone in their ribs, grabbing an opponent’s handlebars, etc., just to take advantage of an inexperienced ref or a well-trained ref that is looking the other direction. I’m sorry but your momentary advantage in one single game is not more important than the growth of this sport.

Ref’s are going to miss calls, it’s the natural state of any and all major sports; you see it happen in the NFL, MLB, FIFA, the Olympics, everywhere. What you don’t see in these major sports is players drop-kick each other when the refs head is turned. Taking advantage of ref’s will only lead to instances in bike polo that are equivalent to diving in soccer and flopping in basketball. I know that is the last thing that we want, but it’s where the lazy, cheating, revenge seekers are taking the sport. So I encourage you to truly read the rules, not because you want to take advantage of the grey areas, but to actually allow the refs to become more confident and allow us, as a whole, to see just how amazing this ruleset is.