EDITORS NOTE: Sam Bell has been nothing but amazing since joining the 321Polo team. When she came to me with the idea of starting a series where she heckles different aspects of bike polo, I couldn’t wait to read the first segment! I’m sure everyone will enjoy her heckling as much as I do!
If I’m going to be a sub-par polo player, I might as well be a top notch heckler. As I really only like participating in sports that involve heckling, I feel like I have a decent amount of experience to a my own heckling segment here on 321 Polo. Even despite what Dillman may have said on the first Mornings With Machine, which ironically happened at night.
For my first installment of Heckling Hardcourt I’m going to heckle the voters of the NAH survey.
Seriously, I have a bone to pick with whomever is voting for keeping the format ten minutes or first to five. Lets totally keep a tournament format that is impossible to organize properly because games on finishing on an inconsistent basis. Seems like a good idea right? Obviously people who are voting have never run a tournament, but I am sure they will be the first to complain and say how poorly a tournament is run. Bravo voters!
Shall we move on? Ball jointing is like amateur hour, you don’t really see much of it in tournament play and it’s even pretty rare in pick up as well. However during the worlds, I saw a bunch of calls for ball jointing in the offensive half when a player was going to scoop the ball. Lamesville. Maybe our definition of ball jointing is just a crappy as ball jointing itself, but if that’s how we are going to call ball jointing, then why the heck are we only allowing it on the defensive side?
Finally, I think we should discuss the crease. Dear voter, how often do we struggle with spectators and trying to get more people interested in watching our sport? The answer is heaps (or a lot if you’re Merican). Double goalie is the most boring tactic EVER! It may kinda work for some of the top teams, but it is a snoozer when it comes to watching. Implementing a crease totally gets rid of that for us! I mean COME ON VOTERS!!!